Staring Contest with a Statue

Every time I sin, I always try to remember that God loves me. In fact I have been really learning that God loves me no matter where I am in life. Jesus ate with sinners, hookers, tax collectors and outcasts. I believe he still does. I think to believe in Jesus, is to believe that God loves us, because Jesus is the personification of God's love. Everything he did, from his life, to his death and to his resurrection, he did it all to show us God's loves us.


So now the question for me is, "Do I love God?". Are my actions showing God I love him? He did and still does a great deal of things to show me he loves me. Am I showing God that I love him?


I used to think that when I sinned I thought that God stopped loving me. That God turned his face on me because of my actions. But what I am learning is that because of my actions I am turning my face on God. When I sin I always feel a lack of love, I think we all do, I think a lot of us assume that God's love is what begins to lack, but it's really our love for God that starts to diminish.


It's like a staring contest with a statue. The game never ends because the statue blinks, that statue will never blink, but it ends because I blinked. Every time.


Whatever I do, I will remain in God's love. But anytime there is a gap in the relationship it's because of me. I am like the friend that doesn't return the phone calls, then start to wonder where my friendship went, when it was me all along.


When I sin and feel separate from God it's not because God can't handle 'that sin', it's not like Jesus says, "wait a minute, I died on the cross for those people and these sins, but I can't forgive this, this wasn't in the contract".


your friend,