I was on set for a TV pilot a few days ago and I really felt right at home, I knew what needed to be done, how to do it, what things were called and it was great. When I am on film sets I start to feel incredibly fulfilled, it could be because I have been dreaming of being on a film set for over half my life now, but I really think it's because it's one of the places where I know exactly how I can help people and serve people. I don't have to ask or figure out how to help them, I just can do it. I truly believe that my fulfillment comes in serving people and film is the way I can serve people best.
The two people I really admire are C.S. Lewis and Aaron Weiss. The more I learn about Aaron's lifestyle the more I want to do what he is doing and how he is doing it. He seems so free from cell phones, cameras and technology. He walks the earth like John the Baptist. The more I read about John, the more I really want to be like him, living in the forest and living off the land. I want to sell all my things and give to the poor, I want to have no address, live off the land and be a nomad, I want to go to some foreign country and become part of a new community that doesn't look at their cell phone when their talking to you.
I am really attracted to the missionary adventure and also there is something inside of me that thinks "if I gave everything to the poor and lived in a third world country, I would be really making a difference in the world and obeying God". But I would be wrong.
There are pastors, missionaries and worship leaders out there that are avoiding God's real purpose for their life and pursuing an occupation that appears more in God's will. But if God wants you to be a janitor and you try to become a pastor to avoid that calling you can very well lead a ton of people astray and not to mention avoid a huge opportunity to really change the world*.
I can't live off the land and sell all my things, though I am willing. I just know that my computer and camera [when I get one] are my tools, in a strange way, to serve people. When I am using them that is when I can serve someone best.
I looked up the word ministry, and believe it or not it doesn't mean "to hand out tracks to strangers". It means "the act of serving". My ministry, where I serve best is on the set, on tour or doing anything with video. Some people have talents that they use to self-serve, unfortunately. I truly believe that is the reason people using their God-given talents [acknowledged or not] to cater to their egos, pride, or even hate towards others, they feel unfulfilled even while doing what they were made to do. I think it all comes down to not just doing what you are put on this earth to do, but doing it for the reason you are on this earth; to love God and love people.
The Bible talks about eyes saying they want to be the mouth and the large intestine wanting to be the jugular vein and how there needs to be different parts of the body for it to function. When I look at Aaron Weiss or a few others, I see fulfillment in their eyes, contentment in their hearts of being satisfied in doing what they do. It makes me think that what I am missing in my life is to live their lifestyle, but it's not entirely that. It's not their lifestyle that gives them fulfillment but it is who/what they center that lifestyle around that does.
*"I may not change the world, but I might spark the mind that does." -Tu Pac